I hope my girlfriend’s with single moms can relate .
I was fixing the sink today. I had all those parts open trying to make sure there is a quicker flow of water . Ma’ walked into the kitchen and smiled. She said “man of the house”.
Having been raised by a single mum , I have had to learn stuff . Alot of stuff . I cook , I clean , I mop , I wash . No ! Not just that , I fix bulbs , I plumb and climb up the roof to fix the ariel.
I can do practically everything , from threading to fixing hinges. That’s exactly why am “picky” . Some guy told me the other day that I shouldn’t really be playing hard to get. He said that I have such high standards and that’s the reason I am on my own .
See , I used to be desperate. I wanted any guy and every guy to love me because I hadn’t seen my dad loving me . I learnt late . I learnt that that’s not the love I need . After I discover my importance , I stopped being desperate . I slowly developed a tough skin .
I have my bars raised . I honestly can’t date a guy who doesn’t open door and ask me to tell him when I get home. I can’t let a man marry me if he isn’t going to fix the sink or take out the trash.
I am a tough woman . I might not be beautiful , I know , but I am strong . I am hardworking and productive .
I really need you to understand, I am not materialistic . I don’t want big cars and houses with no love ,respect and appreciation. Am gonna pay for my bills , so you need to respect the fact that I have never been dependant of any man .
If you take me out and I end up paying for my share , some times even yours, I am not doing it to spit you . I was raised to settle my own bills. I am not saying I am better than you. No ! I am not telling you that I don’t need you . I am just being the person I became out of apprenticeship and habit .
Just because I never ask for stuff doesn’t mean I don’t need you. Just because I can fix the lights doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be the man . You just need to be a strong man . I am not lowering my standards , I am asking you to raise yours .
I am asking you to be a gentleman , to understand , to teach me that in as much as I am independent , I still need to let you know that I need you .
I also want love, but i won’t stop being loud . I won’t stop fighting for gender equity . I won’t stop climbing up trees to pick fruits . I won’t stop staying up late to watch football . Am only explaining this so you would know , am not intimidating you .
Please be the man , wear the pants in this relationship . Pay for our lunch dates , walk me home , take me to the bus stop . Buy me coffee , fix the sink , open doors for me. Love me , spoil me , and when I insist , remind me who the man is .